the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
