Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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