His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
