If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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