i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
