distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize