Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize