her vagine was all disorganized.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
