how can u be prego again
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
