I could have mohawked her pubes.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
