Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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