last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
