i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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