I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I AM VODKA MAN
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize