just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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