all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
