lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
