Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
