I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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