Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
