my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
