She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My Higher Power is John Stamos
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
