the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
