Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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