I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she told me i tasted like america
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
