What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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