In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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