Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
