For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
