i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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