Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize