I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
