it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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