barbara walters just said penis...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
operation harelip BJ is a go
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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