He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
