you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
