When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
