nut hugger
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize