You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
