Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
