clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
