Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
