piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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