just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
