I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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