he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize