Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I had to cum in my sink.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
