Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
