I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh god it's open bar.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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