The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize