i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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