Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Bring me that man meat
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
