put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize