Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
