The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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