Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
