dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
