i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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