my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
